More keyword hits

Saturday, August 28, 2010

I wrote a news entry yesterday about how a visitor's path to this site amused me. To provide perspective, anusface.com has gotten 371 search engine referrals since Jan 1 2006 (as far back as I can go with my stats). Of those, roughly half involved keywords with some variation of "anus and/or face." Some of the more interesting ones, are:

• anus face song (there was a song about me?)
• big and great anus (both!)
• is there a band named the anus faces (and how!)
• s?cak anüs
• site:anusface.com anus face ("Google, tell me about the anusface.com site. Oh! There it is.")
• you tube only anus (million dollar idea here)

Of the remaining non-anus keywords, 30% are people who googled spam phrases that showed up on my formerly insecure, now deleted, guestbook. Other webmasters' forms must've been hit too, and they were checking things out. I won't do the spammers any favors and list any of them again, with two exceptions, "pinky onionbooty" and "ragazze che scoreggiano", which is Italian for "Girls fart with silencer." It even has its own facebook business page with 39 fans. Aside from the common porn and penis drug phrases, a variation of plm=0 came through 41 times, or 70%.

From 2004 to 2009, anusface.com had a merchandise page with lyrics from "The Gift" by Velvet Underground. This led to 16 visitors (4% of all search engine traffic). What gets me is that no lyric snippet combination is repeated, and all but one of the keyword strings are at least eight words. Some are 20 words or more. When these visitors were coming in, I checked anusface.com's search results depth for those keywords, and it was never in the top 10.

In April of this year, anusface.com spoofed McDonald's ronald.com, and had a page <title> of "Hey Kids This is Advertising." Several bloggers, including Boingboing, wrote stories about the "disconcerting disclosure". At the time, anusface.com was on the first results page. Boo ya, 10 hits (3%)!

Anusface.com used to echo the IP address of the current visitor on the front page. For reasons I can't deduce, four people came here after googling one of these IP addresses. And I must have had "river dance" on my site somewhere because that keyword generated 12 hits. I can't imagine how far down someone would've had to slog. River Dance fans are devoted, I tells ya!

As for the rest of the search engine referrals, either I can't figure out how the searchers got to anusface.com, or the explanation is too dull to share. Nevertheless, here are my favorites:

• marry me (i'd like to offer these four searchers an apology)
• "she needed him" "he wasn't there" (again, sorry if you got here this way)
• "sausage song" (someone found a song i made up)
• busty booms and tits (another million dollar idea)
• clarence darrow t shirt (wow)
• escambia county sheriff's office + puppies (it's the + that gets me)
• fangusface.com (did you mean anusface.com?)
• "neanderthal band merch" immediately followed by "neanderthal merch" (sorry guy you got the same shitty site twice)
• mr. face (pretty cool)
• t-shirt ahh shit (you've come to the right place my friend)
• "to write love on her arms merchandise" and "to write love on her arms merchandise return address"

anusface.com = The Face Books of Sex

Friday, August 27, 2010

I love it when this site is found by people searching for something other than "anus face" or "anusface." Please don't get me wrong, I like it when people come here for any reason. But it's fun getting surprised by what people are searching for, how hard they're looking it, and how anusface.com figures into the mix.

I've never publicized traffic sources, so this referral may not mean much to you, but someone searched Bing for "face books of sex". I can only assume that somebody saw an ad on a porn site for the "Facebook of Sex", hastily closed the browser and now wants to get in on that action. I guess that's not so weird, even with the misspelling of Facebook. What is weird is that this referral came from the seventh page of results. That is one persistent hornball. Even when I'm looking for something important, I give up after two or three results pages. Because my name and "books" are two of my top keywords, anusface.com got into the mix. Even though the link on Bing clearly says "The Famous Author on the Web." Maybe he (I'm assuming it was a guy) was looking for a book filled with pictures taken of people's faces during sex.

One more minor oddity - the user viewed my site only from the cached link, which was either an accident or the site was down. Here's the referral, in case you're interested:

http://cc.bingj.com/cache.aspx?q=Face+Books+of+Sex&d=4518567712263261&mkt=en-US&setlang=en-US&w=90f82e4f,a9f119c1&icp=1&.intl=us&sig=g76qsZobCtNZzYHsKIge2g--
			

And, finally, wrapping it up, I should point out that once this story gets picked up by search spiders, anusface.com should move up in the search results for these keywords (esp. since I've put them in an h3 tag). Maybe I should "nofollow" this page.